I was shopping too much, driving everywhere, not getting enough exercise...
So you don't move places for your work? And you experienced the freedom of not being constrained by jobs and stuff. ...that stuff owns you, and it's a kind of imprisonment... You write that when you're trapped by all your belongings, you may become less involved and engaged with your community.
...my friends...they're trying so hard to get out of the work/spend cycle... Most people are like that.
Belongings impart status; that is, we measure each other by what we have with us or around our bodies...
Houses are a great example of status items. Your house is the one thing that defines your socio-economic level more... - Nexus, January/February 2013
A new year. 5 AM. New transit riders. At my usual bus stop, a guy I haven't seen before is chatting me up, wondering why the bust stop doesn't have graffiti all over it. I wonder what neighborhood he is from. Along comes local panhandler Richard Spotted Bird. He suddenly turns to someone on a bench, as he does, and asks him for a dollar bill in exchange for a dollar in change. A connecting bus is full of coughing passengers. In the past month's frigid temperatures, I've seen no one dressed as warmly as myself. In the wheelchair space is someone in a chair with an illustration of a dreamcatcher on the back. Above the illustration, between an arrow on each side, is the word STONE. Sitting across from her is an employee of a Goodwill who is impaired mentally, and who I haven't seen in months. For the past couple of days, he's been holding up an empty soda bottle as if he expects soda to come out. At one stop, the driver brings up the automated wheelchair lift. Stone stands up from the wheelchair, folds it, and pushes it onto the lift. Out of the window, I see Stone, with an LCD headlamp on, using it as a walker. Stone is wearing black sweatpants, the left leg of which has serious sun damage.
On a train home, I am listening to a couple of young folk trading stories about doing time. The guy talks about catching "a case." The girl did a year before starting her own bail bonds company. On a connecting bus is a guy with bloodshot eyes. On his head is a scar on top of a huge knot. The next morning, I am coming out of a deathburger. Coming in is a curvy young lady followed by someone who strikes me as out of her league. His response to the way she moves is "Mmm mmm mmm." He looks at her through the window before following her inside. Not a bad pair of characters, but definitely the wrong set.
Another week begins. I'm on the way to the home of a neighbor, friend co-worker, Roman, and countryman. It's after 4 AM, and in the dark, I can't see. But I believe that I hear someone's back yard sprinkler system going in early January. The day after, I'm on a bus home with a small collection of groovy young white guys in British caps. One of them is yaking away about spending "five years in the joint." The next day after work, waiting with me at a stop for a connecting bus is a guy in a red hoodie which he claims his sister gave to him, and that he decorated himself. On the back is a design which reads, "I love Jesus". He goes up to another guy on the bench and begins asking him where he is going, what bus he's waiting for. When the bus comes, the Jesus hoodie guy stands in front of the door as he explains to the other guy that this is his bus. As he does so, he is blocking the entrance to the bus. The following morning, around 4:15 AM, I am on my way to catch a ride to work. I pass a gas station across the street from where I work. At a popular edge of the building are a middle-aged panhandling pair of significant others. The guy has his cane and the woman is in a Colorado Avalanche hockey team coat.
If another large-scale aggression...were to take place...a substantial majority of United Nations members would support collective action... The real danger lies in indirect aggression - subversive tactics and guerilla warfare - where the guilty parties cannot be seen... There are not many signs that the nonaligned nations...will...evolve any genuine spirit of unity...in world affairs. Loyal support for an effective United Nations is the greatest contribution they can make... ...a revolutionary ideology and movement that transcends parochial nationalist interests...appeals to all "victims of Western colonialism and imperialism." The Western world...seeks to arrest the social revolution that is sweeping the underdeveloped world...directed against...the indigenous feudal...relics of medievalism...political or economic... ...the shop-worn cliches of "freedom" and "free world"...has little resemblance to...a free world to defend...
Revolutions are not impersonal forces, but movements designed to serve the interests of distinct social groups and classes... ...revolutions that swept across...the seventeenth, eighteenth, and nineteenth centuries...unleashed...forces that fashioned a distinct civilization...where values and aspirations have become those of an entire community of states we call the Western world. The middle-class social orders of the West are a...fluid, dynamic equilibrium of social, economic, and political power. The more...social class is transcended the more...that all classes of society become gradually "bourgeofued" as they adopt middle-class values. In Central America... There emerged a new type of middle class - a class whose social focus of power was not material wealth or ownership of factories, but possession of special skills...a group that might be called the bureaucratic intelligensia. The distinguishing characteristic of an ideosocial system...in the equilibrium of power...among the social classes. ...from the extreme of the Marxist-Lennist image of a "ruling class"...to an informal graduated structure...mobile and dynamic. ...the social class that constitutes the center of gravity...acts as a bond between the social groups above and below it. ...in the underdeveloped world, the most immediate and pressing issues...are concerned with the fundamental nature of the social order itself. ...striking is the almost uniform character of the emergent revolutionary middle class... The revolutionary elite in underdeveloped countries takes its aspirations and values from the European middle class... - Martin
One of the main advantages that set rare colored diamonds apart from all other types of investments is...that wealth is highly portable and very easily concealed. You can literally carry your entire wealth with you across borders... ...rare colored diamonds have a record of doubling in value within a four-year term, which is even faster than precious metals. Rare colored diamonds currently range in price from $15,000 to $65 million each. Another factor is the trend toward increased demand for them from investor in India and China, two countries with an exploding number of high net worth individuals looking for...the least amount of risk. ...rare colored diamonds...represent a significant hedge against inflation. With countless financial land mines out there on the horizon like global political instability...it's important to build a financial firewall around yourself...regardless of what occurs. - Loxzio, 11/2012
Downtown at my bank. A guy on the street corner is selling CDs or DVDs or something. My bus stop is in front of a deathburger which was a gathering place for homeless. It's across the street from the Social Security Administration office. It's been closed since the day after Christmas. Someone is sitting on a sleeping bag in front of the door.
Staying in a shelter...the people...might be...shooting, smoking, rubbing. ...life has beat them down so many times...where you can't get up anymore, at least not onto a path that leads to a future, and you just focus on the immediate. Where the choices in front of you don't go as deep as "how can I make my life better"... - Denver Voice, 1/2013
no rhetoric will no apologies for no mental illness no awe no ignorance will
no middle class excuse no self defense no amendment no patriotism
no divorce no pharmacy for the alienation no day will no morning will
no vow I can't move I can't help no people chosen by G-d no name of evil
no information no book no famous actor no lobbyist no proof will no armor
no father's father no mother can so long as I am alive you say
and see otherwise no free market no public park no boycott my language
no understanding of history you say history and mean our collective humility
of earthen survival you say you believe and in a child in twenty no blame
no intercom and we can't understand and no ignorance will
and no state or federal law and the child should know because the child knows
should not be told what is and isn't when you sing in the early winter
when you sing through my life whether you think humans protect
themselves through violence will not blame no young man no morning
will blame heal there is no medicine when no avoidance no rhetoric this pain
like a song you have no choice but to listen no protection not an enemy
no sanitation no hour no half hour no distance no change
no grandfather's war when twenty children when everyone is a teacher
and student no hiding when a young man no credit no ignorance will
when each day no market-driven value no value no hunger can
and no song can and not a protest will and no father can when twenty children when they try when innocence is taken for granted
when the young man was younger no blame will no town's history
in the human wilderness I couldn't move when I heard no luck no providence
no courage would have or will no rhetoric no human nature no doubt will
no disillusionment will I couldn't move I was driving home no giving
no taking can when there is no choice but to see no game no understanding
no research no investigation can twenty children when everything living
is a teacher I felt I had no choice - Robert Snyderman
On Sunday I'm headed out in 15 degrees F to see a movie. It's in a high end, outdoor mall in a neighborhood with roots. I get off the bus at a corner where I worked almost 15 years ago. Ironically, I live much closer now than I did then. The owner at the time was one of those residents with roots. His shop he took over from his father. It's directly across the street from where my old boss and his wife went to high school. I remember her telling me that she was one of the girls who turned over the letters to spell out the school team's name at rallies and games. He told me that he liked to hunt and fish, was active in local politics to preserve those things. I remember him telling me that he took his son up to a cabin in the hills, with a boat on a lake "that he can go out on anytime." As his son was growing up, his son was losing interest in such things quickly. It appeared as though he was looking to me for some understanding. On this corner used to be a good Greek short order place, a Taco Bell. The Greek place is now a tattoo shop and the Taco Bell an authentic Mexican place. The building appears to be the very same one. There, set back from the street and hidden away, is the old place I used to work. On this frigid day, it appears almost as if it has been put on a shelf for storage. It's now a one hour cleaners. When I worked there, we had a longer turnaround time. I've worked at one hour cleaners. I wouldn't work at another. It's a ten or fifteen minute walk in Arctic headwind. Out here may still be seen the frequent older model SUV with elevated suspension for off road driving. I eventually make it to a health food uber grocery, complete with a huge sign in a window, announcing a book signing. In an time when malls are either being redesigned or built from the ground up, with the objective of appealing to a particular minority residency, this mall appears to appeal to the Caucasian lifestyle. Coffee and books on a Sunday afternoon, a leisurely stroll for something sweet. There's an ice skating rink. I run into the uber grocery to grab lunch. I wander among the sweet potato casserole and hot corn meal before I find a sandwich. After the three hour movie, I'm at a bus stop in freezing cold and in the dark. Though I didn't bring a schedule along, surely they haven't cut back service to quit running before 5:30 PM, even on a Sunday. I watch an endless line of headlights as I look for my bus. Along comes a truck with lights on its cab roof. Here, at this intersection of two busy boulevards, is an outdoor mall which considers itself contemporary, which holds an annual Italian festival. Surrounding it is a neighborhood with its own history.
I don't ski, but I make use of a ski mask. I'm waiting for the bus to work on another Saturday. Overnight was 1 degree F. It's now 5 AM. I continue to see people out in hoodies and jeans, windbreakers or denim jackets. I am wearing lined pants along with long underwear, and a winter coat with a hood. If I move the wrong direction, the wind goes past my cuffs. I am eating through the hole in my ski mask which I have on. I don't ski, but I make use of a ski mask. The lightest of snows is falling. The mood is one of some kind of new age. I take the bus to the train, down to the next station. I think I hear a native American chant from someone out in the freezing train station. Do I see snow falling in the lamp light or freezing fog? By the afternoon, the clouds in the sky have broken, yet the Rockies remain shrouded in a great white frozen mist. Jesus it's cold. I'm sitting in the sun in some seriously lined clothing and I'm still cold. To write these words, I must exhale on the tip of my pen to get the ink moving. It feels no warmer than it did this morning.
Western policy must align itself with the popular aspirations of the middle class nationalist forces in the underdeveloped countries... Either the western world...not as a hegemonic empire or series of empires - must universalize itself, its values, and its institutions, or it will be inevitably...pass into the ashbins of history as another great civilization unable to accomodate itself to...its aroused, disaffected, and disconcerted populations. ...international corporations, consortiums, and cartels...sometimes convey the impression that they own Western civilization... - Martin
I'm at my usual deathburger for breakfast. As I head in, I hear a middle aged guy talking to himself. He comes walking up with a jerking, nervous kind of motion. It sounds as though he has some kind of Turret's Syndrome. He's making random statements: he will by a home in five years, just give him five years, $2,000 down, "You mess up - you're done. That's my grandma used to say." Then he says, "Nice to meet you." He's making these statements as if in a hurry. He sounds like a TV flipping channels. He's someone else with a mental illness come wandering out of the west.
...Khrushchev reveals..."The national bourgeoisie is dual in character. ...objectively interested in...anti-imperialist and anti-feudal revolution. Its progressive role...therefore not yet spent. But...shows...compromise..." - Martin
I saw my first empty Keystone ICE can hidden inside an empty fast food bag. It's at my usual bus stop, at the usual time of 5 AM. A young guy on a bike rolls up . He's not a regular and he doesn't strike me as 'from around these parts.' He politely asks each of us at the stop for a dollar before he is on his way. When I get to the train station, there's a guy wandering up and down the train platform with that straight ahead derelict look in his eyes. When my train pulls up, a guy with a similar appearance is talking to himself before the door opens for him to exit the train. As I get on, I think that I hear the first guy yell something.
January 9, 2013
Dear Parents and Guardians,
Today, a student reported that a male in a black van asked to help him find a puppy. The student reported it immediately... We also put the school on a modified lockdown for 15 minutes to ensure that all the students were safe. The officer from DPS security is currently investigating the incident. - something I found on the sidewalk January 20
The truth is that faith in who we are and who we came into this life to be is the key component to creating the life you desire. ...to create the highest vision of me that I can present in the world... ...to enhance...your overall physical vibration. And faith in me is the activating force that my "human" requires in order to align with that over-arching creative intelligence of the Universe that is my source.
...while the faint glow of fireplaces tease passers-by, tempting visitors with hot chocolate to-dos and Champagne fetes. ...as we would have it - complete with an accented and convivial service staff, many from Europe... It is what we all fantasize about, isn't it? - Out Front Colorado, 1/16/12
On Sunday, I am on my way across the street for lunch. I am passed by a trio of adult drunks who prowl the broken concrete together. They are being led by yet another person with tattoos on their face and neck, a kid. They converse before crossing the street, perhaps for the first time ever through the crosswalk. The trio strolls on their way. The kid stops to speak to someone in a small white car before he gets in, and it rolls away.
It's midweek at 5 AM at my usual bus stop. There's a guy on the corner with a bike, and a fountain drink in one hand. He isn't crossing either street. He wants to know if I have a light, and then if I have a phone. When I don't, he gets on his bike and discoveres that it has a flat tire. He trucks on down the sidewalk. I take the bus to the train, to another bus stop. A guy in a leather jacket and hoodie asks me if the bus at this stop goes south, and do I have a cigarette.
...murky forests lapped close to villages and fields, brimming with...witches, imps, elves, goblins... ...the violence and apprehension of material reality shaded quite naturally into a supernatural that was just as real. Apocalypticism, after all, involves divine secrets to a select few... Clearly, apocalyptic rhetoric used to radical ends destabilized not only church and state but also...establishments...whose interest...did not extend to overturning...social arrangements... The stars were full of horrors: great winds, strange stars, multiple apparitions of suns or moons, eclipses, warriors battling in the clouds... - Apocalypse, by E. Weber, 1999
In a resolution passed in January 1952, the seniors of the Reformed Church [of Hungary] stated: "We recognize the efforts to build up a truly new and great society. The liquidation...which makes this exploitation of man legally impossible must be dear to a church...God-pleasing and profitable to man." The basic ideas...of the opposition...declared that Christians must object to the idea that the history of salvation is always clearly apparent in the work of the government. "History cannot establish the kingdom of God." - Hutten
Christanity was a...religion about history that turned on history past events listed...and on history..deduced from prophetic clues... Communism was hardly new in the Christian tradition; nor were authoritarian ideals. ...Restoration England made speculation about the Second Coming a criminal offense. - Weber
With the elimination of...missionary activity among...young people, heathen, gypsies, and alcoholics, the church leadership had "supported the planned interference by the government..." Anyone who dared disagree with the church was branded a sectarian...and an enemy of the state. Bishop Ravasz called upon the pastors to become the living conscience of the people. The congressional councils were to be examples of national unity... ...parish pastors who held religious meetings in their parishes...had to obtain the permission of the police, so that the church meetings could not be abused by...elements...against the existing order of the state and society. - Hutten
I on my home after work, sitting on a bus with a short distance to go. Behind me are a high school kid and a burned out derelict guy. The derelict doesn't appear half as old as his tired and confused voice makes him sound. As the last light of the winter sun fights its way through the windows, covered in mud deposited by the last snow shower, the derelict is crawling his way through a story about his mom flushing his marijuana down the toilet Christ knows how many years ago. When was the last time this guy even spoke to his mom? The good-natured kid is humoring him, this kid with his whole life ahead of him. This kid who perhaps is master of many a computer game. Can this guy even hold a joystick in his hand? I think that the kid realizes how sad this guy is. Can the derelict guy even say how he ended up here?
