Sunday, February 3, 2013

February 2013, Year of the Snake














     It's another Saturday morning at 5 AM.  I'm headed for the deathburger next to the usual bus stop.  As I head toward the parking lot, I can hear a voice.  Standing next to a parked SUV are a couple of guys, both in red down parkas.  The one on the phone is bald and looks young, and appears skinny in his big parka.  The way that they were standing next to the car, I thought at first that they guys perhaps were having car trouble.  As I pass through the lot, I hear the one on the phone say, "I opened the bag and they pulled two guns on us."

     "This is more like Compton because of the diversity of gangs here,"...hit hard by the recent recession.  Thousands lost their homes to foreclosures, and the area began changing...  ...80 percent of the children in the area are at risk either because they were born to teen mothers or mothers without a high-school education, or because they live in a family near poverty level.  That's among the highest rates anywhere in the city.  Although he feels supported by his teachers and school administrators, he's not so sure about the faceless education officials who run the show downtown.  ...teachers had to re-apply for their jobs.  Those who were let go were informed via e-mail during the school day...and some of the broke down in the middle of class.  When...a member of the school council, he says, the school board promised...new computers and other resources - but when the assets arrived, they went to the kids in the new programs that opened in 2011.  ...in the four school programs now housed...to the shared campus agreement...to make room for three other lunch periods,...students have to eat lunch first: at 10 a.m.  "That's what happens when there are three other schools in your school.  We got the short end of the stick."  - Westword, 2/7-13/2013

     A church who merely says and does what the state says and does...does not help to preserve peace, but disturbs and confuses the relationship between church and state...a politically colored picture of the church...a pretext for carrying politics into the church...  - Hutten
     ...Christian terminology...vehicles for messages of the defeated, dejected, desperate, and disaffected.  Millennial expectations and radicalism fitted into each others needs.  Riches were a property of the great Beast...  Rank was a cause of woe.  Respectability and a good reputation could be marks or perdition.  - Weber

      It's the Monday after the Superbowl.  I'm on my way to a friend's home to get a ride to work on an early shift.  It's 4:30 am and I'm walking past a gas station across the street from where I live.  In a bus shelter next to the station are three people.  One of them I recognize as a local drunk   I watch as he ambles up to someone filling up at a pump.  It appears as though the guy at the pump gives the local some change.  Touchdown.  On the way home, I change buses at a stop where a guy is on a bench.  he is so tired that he's dozing off and waking up when be begins to fall over.  He says "hey bro" to everyone who passes by him.  He gets up and shuffles over to me, asks me for a cigarette.  I'm sure that he's younger than myself, with a gash over his nose.  When you are constantly having to move along, it must be such that you are never awake and never asleep, never quite.  He isn't dirty nor are his clothes, and he has a tote bag which appears brand new.  If he isn't homeless, I can't figure why he's falling down asleep or greeting everyone who goes by with "bro".  We get on the bus when it comes.  At another stop, another derelict gets on.  They both greet each other as "bro".  Bro one asks bro two in Spanish what his name is, and Bro two answers in English.  Bro one is in his seat, dead dead tired to the world.
     The following morning, a guy in his sixties gets on.  He has on a style of coat popular with guys forty years his junior and has a bag with a huge yellow denim tag which reads "hanzzoff".  He asks the driver how he is, and the driver tells him that he's "tryin' to keep up."  He tells the driver, "When I was younger, I used to talk about treading water.  Now, I'm just tryin' to keep my ass off the bottom."  This statement must be on a bumper sticker, somewhere in a gift shop.

Moral Absolutism
     ...we usually suppose morality to be threatened only when the law is violated.  American morality...follows Cartesian logic...If our premises are unsure, how can we have confidence in our conclusions?  "To the good American," Santayana says..."is...the dogmatic cast to American morality.  ...the frame of mind which regards doubt as foolish and even wicked."  - The American Style, ed. by E. E. Morison, 1958

     Another morning at the old deathurger.  Sitting outside, on the ground, waiting for the door to be unlocked, is local derelict Richard Spotted Bird.  When his prayer is answered, he arises and goes inside to get a cup of coffee.  In the time during which I am inside, I never see him sit down.  I watch him continue to pour sugar and cream into his Joe.  When I am outside, I turn to see if he ever took a seat, only to find that he has vanished.

Morality and Power
     The organic state of English absolute idealism give primacy to the state as more metaphysically "real" then the empirical individuals who compose it.  The locus of morality...in the larger whole, the national community whose ideas produce the movement of history.  - Morison

     Saturday morning.  At ten to five am, I'm out the door.  Parked across the entrance to my little townhome courtyard is an ambulance.  In the street in front of my place are two police cars with lights flashing.  Across the street at the gas station is a dog in the back seat of an SUV, with its head out the open window barking while its owner is inside.  At the bus stop is a short, curvy girl with no bus fare.  At the train station is someone belting out, "Are you reelin' in the years!  Stowin' away the time!"
     Many of us are wildly romantic.  ...half-holding our breath through life to meet (not choose, but find)...swept off our feet, lonely years abruptly lifted like a spring dawn...days yet lingering on an imagined horizon we can almost touch - will be poetry.  - Out Front Colorado 2/6/2013
     ...passion for facilitating the kind of group collaboration needed to get controversial things done...  ...the current regional affairs director for Mayor Michael Hancock...  "I had been working for about 10 years as a communications consultant for human resources consulting firms that handle employee communication strategy...  ...neighborhoods, developers, city staff, and elected officials could figure things out together."  ...public relations/lobbying firm...local communications, government relations, and political consulting issues.  ...land use and property development in multiple jurisdictions,such as the Gates rezoning on S. Broadway...  ...entitlements for architect...development...  "...the Gates redevelopment...have long-term positive effects on our community, granted the length of time it takes for them to realize themselves, legacy kind of stuff.  - Washington Park Profile, 2/2013
     He originally "stumbled" upon the campus...  "Next I know I'm getting concerned about...their exams, their break-ups, their hook-ups."  After a long career involved in "white collar" crime...  He also...lectures at classes on campus.
     On any given weekday, Bill wakes up in his empty apartment no furniture, save a T.V....he battles emphysema, depression and PTS...
     I started to count how many friends had passed away in the four and a half years that I had been homeless.  ...(my number is 44)...  When you're homeless...  The friends you make are for life.  ...more basic...  You aren't always driven by money or social status.  The friends I had before I was homeless disappeared when I couldn't afford to go out...  A couple of them that I've seen act like they don't know me at all.  When I became homeless, I...saw that death was just around the corner.  Living on the streets, he was closer - just two steps behind you, with a slightly longer gait.  There were some cold nights I felt him breathing on the back of my neck.  That is a very cold breath, that not only goes down your spine, but travels up into your brain.  You can only sleep lightly...  I've known...homeless men and women...who ended up in the hospital, only to be released too early.  I have learned that life is not the adrenalin rushes.  The homeless know this and that's why we can live this way...  - Denver Voice, 2/2013

The Year of the Snake
     On Sunday, I'm across the street for lunch at my usual Mexican place.  I suddenly hear what sound like four thousand fireworks going off at once.  On the other side of the street are four dancing Chinese dragons dancing in the parking lot of a small Vietnamese strip mall.  The next morning is a frosty 5 A.M., and the beginning of another work week.  Before leaving the house, I turned on the TV to see the Pope giving a resignation speech.  Now, I get off the bus which takes me the short way to my usual stop for a connecting bus.  I can hear someone coming from way up the street.  He is talking to himself.  When he gets to the intersection, he crosses on the green light.  As he walks inches in front of the traffic, he turns toward the cars and yells, "Fuck your god!  Look at you in your stupid purple car!"  When he gets to the bus shelter, he doesn't find any beer, and he continues on his way talking to himself.  I look to see if he has gone into the deathburger.  I don't see him there, or up any street, or anywhere.  He has vanished into the frost.  The year of the snake has begun.
     The following day, I am working a late shift, and on the way to work on a later bus.  I drop a small packet of sauce from the deathburger on the floor.  As we get off at the train station, I see someone pick it up.  On the way home, the bus passes through a neighborhood built in the 1970s.  One of the passengers is talking to the driver about his upcoming review at work.  He says that he's "down to 16 hours a week now."  You get a review for less than part time?  He mentions using something called "Job Coach", which I know only as a service which assists employees who are disabled 'in the membrane'.  This guy sounds completely lucid.  He then mentions someone he knows.  "All my money goes to her, and she's too much like my parent."

     Substantially all students, American and foreign, agree that American culture...is overwhelmingly a middle-class culture.  The dominant American values are recognized...by virtually all adult Americans.  - Morison

Fried Foods
     According to the package, each square of Hashheath has about 100 milligrams of cannabis extract - which seems about right, given the ganja-heavy flavor...  The list of ingredients indicates that the cannabis extract is in the medicated butter...  ...the muscle-soothing buzz began to vibrate from my head to my toes.  ...if you're the type of patient who only requires about a fifth of the bar to get where you need to be.  ...I was in a stoney haze for a good three hours.  ...billed as Cookies and Cream - looked more like a bar of Irish Spring soap.  ...the thing mostly tasted like dried marijuana stems.  Like a tiny chocolate rocket ship...took effect almost immediately.  ...pronounced "stoned" effect that put me in a zombie-like trance of pain-free bliss.  And the taste of the weak tea wasn't much better; it was like drinking the run-off water from a bubble-hash extraction...  - Westword, The Chronic-le, Your Guide to Medical Marijuana, Enjoy!, February-March/2013

     ...Russian Research Study of Americans...(Roseborough and Phillips, 1953)...  '...Americans admire people who are sociable, sensible, strong, and sincere.  They are critical  of...unsociable people...of indecision.  ...of people with unusual or defective physical appearance.'  ...the Wolfenstein and Leites (1950) content analysis of American A films...  'The hero is typically in a strange town where there are apt to be dangerous men and women of ambiguous character and where the forces of law and order are not to be relied on.  If he sizes up the situation correctly...if he relies on no one but himself...demands sufficient evidence of virtue from the girl, he will emerge triumphant.'  - Morison
     Since 1959 the state has established ...a committee for the Observation of Family and Community Celebrations...charged with the arrangement of national holidays and...family celebrations...  "Today the birth of a little baby [is a] joy [that] only our government can bestow."  - Hutten

     Another Saturday at 5 a.m..  I step out of my door into my parking lot.  A guy on a ten speed bike coasts by on the street.  He has a giant trash bag full of I know not what on his handlebars.  He pulls in to the gas station and stops by the dumpster.  On the way home, I wait for my last bus at a stop with a homeless-looking guy.  He sees me pull out my camera, which I am advancing in order to snap his photo.  He asks me what I take pictures of.  I tell him, "Nothing in particular."  He ass, as I snap his mug, "Whatever looks cool?"  I guess that means that I think he is cool.  Stay cool bro.  The bus arrives and takes me up the street.  I get off and I'm walking in the direction of my front door after a long and productive day at work.  In the vicinity of his usual spot is a regular panhandler, one who lives in a small house just down the street.  Walking up to him from across the boulevard is a teenaged girl in a grey sweat outfit, with a sleeveless leather jacket over it.  I watch her as she walks up to him to hand him something.  She then returns across the boulevard.  I watch her go and stand in a bus shelter, and I see her not get on a bus when it comes.
     The following Monday is a frosty 14 degrees F at 5 a.m..  I step into the gas station across the street from where I live.  Outside is a regular drunk, manning a regular panhandling spot.  He goes inside after I do.  I get a doughnut, and as the guy behind the counter is ringing it up, a second employee is asking the drunk if he can look in his inside coat pocket.  The employee must have seen some merchandise which had yet to be paid for in this guy's pocket, because the employee began telling the drunk that he was going to "call police.  I call police."  The drunk acted surprised to hear this.  He replies, "Seriously?"  On a bus home, a middle-aged guy is telling the driver about a park where someone was "selling bad cocaine.  You turn me loose in that park with five guys, I'll have 'em rounded up."  In his hand, he is holding a rubber spatula wrapped in a plastic bag.

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     It's been snowing all night, with some six inches on the ground by morning.  It's the biggest snowfall of this winter.  The same drunk guy is back at the same gas station with the same twin employees.  They do not appear to like this guy, who I've seen on this corner lately day after cold day.  He may actually live someplace in the direction from which I have seen him come and go.  The twin employee guys make me wonder what they think of this neighborhood, one with a deathburger which has a clock that has been ten minutes fast since the beginning of the year (to trick themselves into opening on time?)  Everything about this couple of guys suggest that they are not from anywhere near this place.  I am in front of one of them, who is ringing up my doughnut.  "Just one?", he asks.  He should be able to see that it is only one.  When I pay with my card, I like to keep the receipts because they help me keep track of how much I have in my account.  My receipt prints out.  The twin behind the counter takes it in hand, and stares at it...

     ...Roy  conducts heartfelt interviews with members of Denver's homeless community.  ...he's had difficulty getting his interview subjects to open up about their situation...some want to deflect blame...  "...the general public thinks you already view yourself as a victim, and they don't want to hear it," he says.  "...the more real your story is, the more people are going to relate."  - Westword, 2/21-27/2013

     On my day off, I am at a deathburger for breakfast.  I got off the bus with a derelict guy who comes in with me.  I hear him tell someone he recognizes that he slipped on the ice outside.  I saw him go in, I never saw him slip.  For lunch, I am downtown at a place in an office building.  I run into a woman I know on the custodial crew.  We converse briefly in Spanish.  At the lunch place, disco hits are playing over the speakers.  A woman at a table of grey-haired people mentions that, "a rapper was killed.  A rapper."  She then begins talking about the TV show CSI.
     A couple of days later I am at the local deathburger, across the street from where my photos are being processed.  At a table are a pair of men who appear to be in their thirties.  They are both making what appear to be pencil drawings on pieces of typing paper.  The drawings appear to be alike, waves of lines.  One of them is falling asleep drunk.  The other appears to be just fine.  Throughout the drunk guy's antics, the sober one remains oblivious to them, quietly continuing his pencil drawing.  His face is expressionless and his nose is running.  The drunk one has now taken off his shoes.  While adjusting the laces, he is dozing off.  He wakes up and puts his shoes on the seat of a chair at an empty table.  He then moves them to the seat next to it.  He then moves a third chair to look under the table.  He sits down at a booth with someone who appears to recognize him.  An employee walks past, points to his shoes, points to him.  She notifies the head manager, who comes out to quietly tell the guy that he can not stay without shoes on, or he will dial the police.  The drunk guy puts his shoes back on.  A third employee comes by to tell him to exit stage left.  The drunk guy is trying to tie one shoe with the lace around his ankle.  While bending over, he is having trouble steadying himself.  The head manager comes back out to get some kind of conscious response from him.  He's lights out.  The manager is headed for the phone.  A couple of gaggles of teenagers have come in.  The drunk guy wakes up and says, "Oh boy.  Whew!"  I am waiting and wondering if I will see five-0 slowly stepping in through the door.  On my way out, the drunk guy is standing, and trying to steady himself as he stands in line at the counter.  After I come out of the photo place, I watch a couple of police cruisers turn the corner and pull into the deathburger.  From the bus stop, I can see that a fire truck is already there, SOP for the inebriated.
     It's a frosty morning after an all day snow.  At the bus stop, a truck goes by with a couple of big American flags mounted on poles attached to the sides of the bed.  The next day at the same stop, I see a neighborhood regular go by.  He has salt and pepper hair coming down from under his stocking cap.  He's coming back from the gas station, where I have seen him before, and headed toward some drab apartments which are a halfway house or something.  In one hand is a Keystone Ice, and in the other is a phone.  He's telling someone that he will be home soon.  Is 5 am too early for a beer?