Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Requiem for the Wives

     1983  I saw a band called the Flaming Lips, at an American Legion Hall in Norman, Oklahoma.  In the art school at the University of Oklahoma, I used to see a girl who was studying photography.  She had a unique voice.  It would be a few decades before I knew her name.  A few years later, she would move in with the band's guitar player.
     1985  I saw a band called Sonic Youth, at Meechum Auditorium in Norman, Oklahoma.  The guitarist Thurston Moore was married to the bassist Kim Gordon.  It would be a few decades before I understood that the bassist was also a working art critic.
     Both bands would move from their underground followings of the 1980s to major label contracts during in the 1990s.  Both bands are routinely revered as revolutionary and groundbreaking; not the least who do so being the bands who look up to them.  Both women are as responsible as anyone else for the success of their band.  I would see Sonic Youth again at Liberty Hall in Kansas City, and headlining Lollapalooza ten years after that.  I would see Flaming Lips guitarist Wayne Coyne, restringing a guitar on a second stage at an earlier Lollapalooza, and at a local in-store appearance in 2001.  These are a couple of bands which easily define "indescribable."  What I took away from Wayne's in-store gathering was an introduction to fans of his band...or perhaps his disciples.  He had clearly become some kind of leader with a spiritual kind of flavor.  He also appears to get a kick out of it, but the fans left me with an impression that they take their adoration quite seriously.  I remember thinking at the time, "I can tell that you are amused by these folks.  Just be careful.  Worshippers never take their idols lightly."
     Having left the store somewhat concerned, I believe that Mr. Coyne has done a bit of alright for himself.  He pursues a personal philosophy of "making your own fun," with which he takes no prisoners.  That which does not serve his cause, he allows to roll off his back.  Michelle has spent the past three decades documenting the band's history in the making, which so far fills three photograph publications.  As the band's stage performance became more sophisticated, she projected light shows while they played live, greeted fans, and who knows what else, alongside a dedicated crew of offstage volunteers and onstage costumed characters.  With the band, and with Wayne, she travelled the globe.  Not too shabby for a couple of kids from Oklahoma.  In 1991, a friend of my sisters gave me a VHS recording of "1991: The Year Punk Broke."  In this Sonic Youth documentary, Thurston reminisces about the band's rise to major labeldom.  This was some months or so before the band Nirvana (on tour with Youth in the doc) knocked Michael Jackson off the top position of the charts, and so the 1990s were born.  I loved the "indie" rock of the 90s, all forms, all movements.  When it went away, so did my interest in contemporary rock on the radio.  I had been collecting Lips and Youth releases, but I gave that up as well.  Puff the Magic Dragon had retreated to his cave.  In the first half of the 00s, I began listening to college AM radio instead.  I remember listening to one DJ, probably as young as I was in 1983, who spoke with perplexed frustration at his listeners' understanding of the Flaming Lips as an "independent" band.  I suppose that I am a disciple of music rather than message.  I did eventually see a documentary about the Flaming Lips, titled "Fearless Freaks".  At last, in the documentary, I recognized Michelle as the girl I had seen in art school.
     2013  A year before, I read online that Wayne and Michelle has separated after he hooked up with someone else.   This week, I read that she filed for divorce.  I immediately thought about their adventures together in this relationship, their house featured in a NYT profile.  I read a New Yorker article about Kim Gordon.  She mentioned borrowing her husband's phone and finding texts from someone he had become involved with.  She said that she eventually realized that Thurston couldn't leave their family, so she made the decision to do so.  The reporter revealed that she responded to the news of their breakup with tears in her eyes.  Thurston and Kim's enduring marriage had been a generation's example of a kind of triumph over the establishment's dysfunctions.  And Wayne and Michelle were given a cultural award from Oklahoma City.
     I saw posted online, Kim tweeted Michelle, "I am continuing to as as if everything is normal."  Michelle responded, "So am I."  It feels as if an era has come to an end.  Marriages do on occasion come to an untimely end, yes.  But these are some serious lineup changes.  Emerson wrote that most of the shadows of life are caused by standing in our own sunshine.  I could see a Sonic Youth reunion.  And it would surprise me if the Flaming Lips didn't sally forth.  As long as Wayne continues to believe in his vision for the band.  And as long as his personal vision has followers...

Brother Love
November 2013

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